Acceptance my word for 2010
I have been thinking a lot lately about what word I plan to really embrace for myself this year. After a lot of thought and reading these two blog posts Katie’s and Karen’s I can really relate to some of what they are saying. I decided my word needs to be acceptance. I have a very hard time being happy with anything I create or do. I always feel I can or need to be better. This issue involves my art, family life etc. It carries over into everything. I have always had a hard time living just in the moment. I have a very type A personality and suffer from panic attacks that at times can be paralyzing. I worry about everything… am I a good mom, wife, artist, daughter, aunt, friend etc. What can I do to be better. I realize I need to accept that there are going to be days when I just flat out screw up. Not intentionally by any means but I just screw up and it is okay. Life is not perfect, I am not perfect and I must accept it, refocus and move on. I’m not sure if this is mainly a female issue because as I see it men are much better at just accepting things and are able to move on faster.
This coming year I am going to accept myself for who and what I am. I am going to accept the fact that yes I will screw up. I am going to accept the fact that not every single piece of glitter or ribbon has to be in this very exact spot. That it is okay if it is just a tad bit too much to the right. I am going to accept that the house is not going to be 100% clean 24 hours a day and that there are going to be days that I have panic attacks that paralyze me. All of this just means that I am living life and at times life is just not 100% of anything but breathing. I am going to remember to breathe, some days will require deeper breaths than others but I am going to breathe. I am going to live in the moment and accept the day that I have been given. I am going to be happy that I have the opportunity to breathe another day as not everyone is given this opportunity. I am going to accept the gift of watching the birds outside my kitchen window as they give me great joy. I am going to accept the gift of vacuuming up enough dog hair from my golden retrievers to knit 1,000 pairs of socks as they do not live nearly as long as I wish they did and I love these dogs. I am going to accept me for me… yes, I’m going to accept the fact that I have gray hairs coming in faster than I can count, that I have some pounds to drop and will when I am ready as I know they will hang out with me until I do, I am going to accept that yes 44 yr. olds do have wrinkles and embrace them as at least I am here to see them. I am going to accept that not everyone sees things as I do and does things the way I do. Yes this is a biggie for me back to that type A personality. I am going to accept that not everyone is going to like what I create and that is okay. I am going to accept that not everyone is nice and that you will get nasty grams from people that feel they invented every single thing in the art community and that is okay as that is their problem not mine as I know I have integrity. I am going to accept that I have not had one second to create a project to post this week as I have taken care of three sick dogs, one sick kid, Christmas shopped, cleaned, washed etc and it is okay and my blog readers will certainly understand. And I am going to accept that I cannot find a photo to add to this blog post and that the dryer buzzing non-stop at this very moment is making me crazy. I am living life.
So with all that said, what word do you plan on living by for 2010?
Wishing you all a wonderful day!