Acceptance my word for 2010

Dec 18, 2009

I have been think­ing a lot late­ly about what word I plan to real­ly embrace for myself this year. After a lot of thought and read­ing these two blog posts Katie’s and Karen’s I can real­ly relate to some of what they are say­ing. I decid­ed my word needs to be accep­tance. I have a very hard time being hap­py with any­thing I cre­ate or do. I always feel I can or need to be bet­ter. This issue involves my art, fam­i­ly life etc. It car­ries over into every­thing. I have always had a hard time liv­ing just in the moment. I have a very type A per­son­al­i­ty and suf­fer from pan­ic attacks that at times can be par­a­lyz­ing. I wor­ry about every­thing… am I a good mom, wife, artist, daugh­ter, aunt, friend etc. What can I do to be bet­ter. I real­ize I need to accept that there are going to be days when I just flat out screw up. Not inten­tion­al­ly by any means but I just screw up and it is okay. Life is not per­fect, I am not per­fect and I must accept it, refo­cus and move on. I’m not sure if this is main­ly a female issue because as I see it men are much bet­ter at just accept­ing things and are able to move on faster.

This com­ing year I am going to accept myself for who and what I am. I am going to accept the fact that yes I will screw up. I am going to accept the fact that not every sin­gle piece of glit­ter or rib­bon has to be in this very exact spot. That it is okay if it is just a tad bit too much to the right. I am going to accept that the house is not going to be 100% clean 24 hours a day and that there are going to be days that I have pan­ic attacks that par­a­lyze me. All of this just means that I am liv­ing life and at times life is just not 100% of any­thing but breath­ing. I am going to remem­ber to breathe, some days will require deep­er breaths than oth­ers but I am going to breathe. I am going to live in the moment and accept the day that I have been giv­en. I am going to be hap­py that I have the oppor­tu­ni­ty to breathe anoth­er day as not every­one is giv­en this oppor­tu­ni­ty. I am going to accept the gift of watch­ing the birds out­side my kitchen win­dow as they give me great joy. I am going to accept the gift of vac­u­um­ing up enough dog hair from my gold­en retriev­ers to knit 1,000 pairs of socks as they do not live near­ly as long as I wish they did and I love these dogs. I am going to accept me for me… yes, I’m going to accept the fact that I have gray hairs com­ing in faster than I can count, that I have some pounds to drop and will when I am ready as I know they will hang out with me until I do, I am going to accept that yes 44 yr. olds do have wrin­kles and embrace them as at least I am here to see them. I am going to accept that not every­one sees things as I do and does things the way I do. Yes this is a big­gie for me back to that type A per­son­al­i­ty. I am going to accept that not every­one is going to like what I cre­ate and that is okay. I am going to accept that not every­one is nice and that you will get nasty grams from peo­ple that feel they invent­ed every sin­gle thing in the art com­mu­ni­ty and that is okay as that is their prob­lem not mine as I know I have integri­ty. I am going to accept that I have not had one sec­ond to cre­ate a project to post this week as I have tak­en care of three sick dogs, one sick kid, Christ­mas shopped, cleaned, washed etc and it is okay and my blog read­ers will cer­tain­ly under­stand. And I am going to accept that I can­not find a pho­to to add to this blog post and that the dry­er buzzing non-stop at this very moment is mak­ing me crazy. I am liv­ing life.

So with all that said, what word do you plan on liv­ing by for 2010?
Wish­ing you all a won­der­ful day!

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